An Understanding
by Eyes of Shinigami
Summary: Goku learns a very important lesson from the unlikeliest of places, and both of them gain something special. A short musing on death. Slightly angsty, no pairings.


TITLE: An Understanding

AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami

PAIRING: None

TIMELINE: Sometime before the journey

RATING: K+, mostly for theme.

WARNINGS: Angst, a bit of fluff, and a tiny bit of language. Perhaps a trite bit of OOC, but who knows?

SUMMARY: Goku learns a very important lesson from the unlikeliest of places, and both of them gain something special. This is a personal catharsis, I suppose. A personal musing on death in general, through the eyes of a child. A close friend of mine died recently, and I thought that this would be a proper ode, in my own little way.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. I just borrow for the sake of my sanity.

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Gojyo was just sitting down to his magazine and a comfy couch, when an almost inhuman wail caught his attention from outside. He nearly jumped out of his own skin, rushing to the open window to see Goku hunched over in the yard. The redhead's first thought was that the boy was injured, so naturally he cleared the window sill and rushed over to his side.

Instead, he found the boy kneeling over the body of the cat that had been frequenting he and Hakkai's back porch. Sanzo's latest mission had called for him to be away for a couple of weeks, leaving the golden-eyed boy in their care for the time being. In that time, Goku had managed to befriend the bedraggled kitten, practically nursing it back to health. So, it was understandable that the boy was distraught. "G-Gojyo…it's…can we fix it?" he asked childishly, tears streaming from huge eyes filled with distress. Normally, the redhead would tease the boy for such a show, but he found that he didn't have it in him to poke fun.

"No…I don't think so, Goku. He looks like he's been dead for a while," Gojyo answered softly, swallowing the lump that was growing in his throat. The small body looked like it had been attacked viciously, and the stiffness in its limbs indicated that Gojyo was right in his assumption.

Goku let out another wail, sobbing harder as he buried his face in Gojyo's chest. Awkwardly, the redhead returned the strange embrace, feeling his shirt dampening with unchecked tears. Somehow, he didn't mind as much as he thought it would. He knew Hakkai was shopping in town and wouldn't be back for several hours, so it meant that it was up to him to make this right.

"Hey…how about we give him a proper burial? I'm sure he would like that," Gojyo offered soothingly, rubbing the other's back in an attempt to calm him a bit. The sobs were tapering off into sniffles, as though the body in his arms was too exhausted to keep crying as he was.

"O-okay. I-I guess that would be all right," Goku answered after a moment, a small fist coming up to scrub away the traces of tears on reddened cheeks. As he went to pick up the body, golden-eyes filled with surprise when Gojyo shook his head and gently pushed him back.

"Let me," he said simply, taking off his jacket and using it to pick up the kitten, wrapping it carefully. "Goku…go get me an old bed sheet from the closet, and then we'll pick a place to bury him, how does that sound?" The boy nodded, rushing off to do his indicated task. A sigh escaped the redhead's lips, knowing that this was going to be a very long afternoon.

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When Goku returned, the two of them decided that it would be best to bury the kitten by the back porch. Goku insisted it was because that was where he met the kitten and it would probably like it there best. The redhead couldn't help smiling sadly at the childish words, ruffling the boy's hair before setting to work.

Soon, the only sign of the kitten left was the fresh pile of dirt and a small stone marker that Goku had put at the head of the small grave. Gojyo wiped his hands, admiring his handiwork before a small, somber voice caught his attention.

"Why? Why did he have to die? He was just a baby," the golden-eyed boy asked softly, his voice quaking with the tears that were flowing freely down his cheeks once more. A small, dirty hand wiped them away, smudging his face with mud. He looked up at Gojyo with wide, sad eyes that were searching for some sort of answer.

Gojyo sighed, not really knowing what to say. This was more Hakkai's area of expertise, but since the gentle man wasn't here, it was up to him. "Death is funny like that, Goku. It's a part of life, just like living. It isn't picky, and it doesn't discriminate," he tried to explain in the softest tone of voice he could manage. He wasn't used to this sort of thing, not even sure he was going to help.

"But it's not fair!" Goku cried indignantly, shaking his fists in the air with a sudden rush of anger at the injustice of the world. It wasn't fair, and he knew it. However, a firm hand on the top of his head gave him pause, causing him to look up into the somber face of his companion. He was sure he had never seen Gojyo look quite this serious, and it surprised him.

"You're right, Goku. It's not fair. Death isn't a fair thing at all. The best of people die in horrible ways, while horrible people get to live on to see another day. No one can explain it, squirt. It's one of those things that you just have to accept. Crying about the unfairness of it doesn't do anybody a lick of good. All it does is make you more upset. Just think about how much better it was that you knew the kitten at all. If you remember those things, how happy he made you and how much you liked him, then it'll be alright," Gojyo answered, offering him a smile as he ruffled his hair once more.

Goku looked on in awe for a moment, beyond impressed by his words and his explanation. It almost made the boy want to take back all those insults about Gojyo being a stupid kappa. Almost. "Who knew you were so smart?" he replied, sniffling once as he wiped away the last traces of his sadness from his face. That earned him a gentle bop on the head, as well as a hearty chuckle.

Suddenly, Gojyo felt strong but small arms wrap solidly around his waist, finding himself in the second out of the blue embrace of the day. Again, he wrapped his arms around the smaller body in an awkward attempt to return the hug that he was being given. "You can't die on me, okay? You, or Hakkai, or Sanzo. You gotta stay with me no matter what, okay?" the boy commanded, words slightly muffled from being pressed into the redhead's chest as they were spoken.

For once, the redhead was stuck completely speechless. Instinctively, his arms tightened around the boy, something inside of him melting at the innocence of it. "I can't promise you anything, monkey, but you know that we'll try our damn hardest to stay with you no matter what. You gotta promise me the same thing, though," he responded, feeling a little silly that he was sitting there, practically holding the monkey to him like…like he was his little brother or something. At that realization, suddenly it wasn't so silly anymore.

"You got it!" Goku answered brightly, letting go and offering Gojyo a sunny smile in reply. He sniffled again, laughing as the redhead promptly shoved him away, muttering something under his breath about not being into holding guys.

"Hey…how about we go get ourselves cleaned up, and we got meet Hakkai in town? I'll take you out to ramen, my treat," Gojyo suggested, straightening his shirt and trying to ignore the slight redness in his cheeks. He wasn't going to let himself be done in by the monkey's refreshing innocence and childishness. Not at all.

He watched as the boy clear the back steps and head into the house, which he took to mean that his answer was a yes. He smiled lopsidedly, running his hands through his hair and unable to quell the feeling that was bubbling in his chest. He looked up into the trees, the sound of a birdsong filling his ears as he strolled into the house behind the boy.

It most certainly was going to be alright. If he had anything to say about it.

-END-


End file.
